93,146 notes
how to give a good handjob
- bop it
- pull it
- twist it
- harder
- better
- faster
- stronger
You pull your left hand in
You pull your left hand out
You pull your left hand in
And you shake it all about!Cha cha real smooth
none of you ever touch a penis
277,845 notes
imagine reading a book of all the lies you’ve told
Imagine reading a book of all the lies that were told to you.
23,101 notes
3,651 notes
Who wants to see 30 seconds of trailer footage TODAY instead of waiting until Monday?
130,650 notes
when i was in elementary school this fucking bitch claimed that she was queen of the jungle gym and would never let anyone use it so i told her i was telling the teacher and i walked over to the teacher and pointed near her and said “isn’t the sky so pretty today” and she started crying because she thought i told and long story short i was the king of the mother fucking jungle gym
You live up to your url…
311,610 notes
dancingchimes-on-a-sunlit-porch:
OMG REBLOG THIS & LOOK AT UR BLOG ITS COMPLETELY DIFERENT
Me
iM CHIR YING BC THE WAY IT LOOKS ON YOUR BLOG SEND HELP
oh my
i dunt see it
EDIT***:
WHATTHE HELL.
…You had my curiosity…
[After]
WHAT THE JESUS FUCK IS THIS VOODOO?!
(I’ll try it
edit
WHAT)
how did you
WHAT
im so confused what is
wait oh
[after]
WTF!?!?!?!?!?! Someone get the fucking salt!Oh my god
how what why skjfhsdkfjh whoaushfkjf
128,387 notes
You know, when you have kids and you love them and you’re proud of them you just want to kiss them on the mouth sometimes.
